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Keynote Address, Syracuse, NY

Keynote Address

“LGBT Stories: Reflections and Voices from Within”

Mona Rae Mason

Central New York Health Services Agency

Syracuse , NY

August 21, 2009

Good afternoon, everyone, and welcome. My name is Mona Rae Mason, and just for the record, I am not gender dysphoric, I am gender euphoric.

From 2004 through 2009, I had the great pleasure and privilege of working on The Transgender Project in NYC. Conducted by National Development and Research Institutes, the study known as The New York Transgender Project was funded by the NIH from an R-01 grant application titled ‘HIV/STI’s in a High Risk Urban Population: Male to Female Transgender’. Dr. Larry Nuttbrock was the principal investigator, with Drs.’ Walter Bocktking, Andrew Rosenblum, and Sel Hawang as co-investigators. Jeffrey Becker, Monica Macri, and I were the Research Associates on the project.

This was a longitudinal study. We implemented an adapted version of the Life Chart Interview as used in the National Comorbidity Study tailored for use specifically with male to female transgender persons. We recruited and interviewed almost 600 volunteer participants from the New York metro area, and by using the LCI, each of these transgender women was in effect telling us their individual life story. So, rather than just stand here and prattle on with a lot of fatuous twaddle about myself, let’s talk about these 600 transwomen.

I think the one thing that stands out to me the most is the transgender community’s diversity. I had always felt that we, transgender people, were pretty much ‘everywhere’, but we are EVERYWHERE. We come in all shapes and sizes and every color. We come from every country, society and culture. We are of all religious backgrounds and faiths, and all economic backgrounds. We self define our individual gender identities in countless ways, and live our lives and present ourselves in just as many ways. Transgender people are just as diverse, if not more so, as any other group of people. There are no one or two models of transgender that will fit us all or even the majority of us all, and those who try to categorize, typologize or dichotomize us are in for a very complicated and difficult time. There really are no finites when it comes to transgender.

I have met and gotten to know some transgender women who have PhD’s, and Masters degrees; and some with very little or almost no formal education at all. I have interviewed transgender women who are plumbers, professors, a NYPD detective, construction workers, accountants, musicians, lawyers, a major university president, a published author, a law professor, a West Point Cadet, and even one who is a monk. I have met sisters who have transitioned successfully at home and in the workplace, and some who have lost everything-- family, friends, and income as a result of their transition.

And I have also met with my sisters, far too many sisters, who have never had a job, and engage in survival sex as their only option.

I have discussed and shared experiences with transgender women who have found support and acceptance from family, and others who have been both verbally and physically abused, and in some cases, sexually abused—usually followed by being expelled from the home altogether. I have laughed with some of these women, and cried with others.

For only a very few of us, being transgender has not been too calamitous an issue. But for many of us however, it’s a constant ‘life negotiation’, and still sadly for others, being transgender makes life an ever-constant struggle for their very existence.

I do not use the word existence lightly here. High rates of serious depression and suicidal ideation, difficulty in obtaining and maintaining employment, lack of shelter, and the absence of acceptance from family and society are just some of the reasons many transgender women find themselves in high risk situations for contracting HIV and other STI’s. Even the everyday tasks of life can often become major hurdles and roadblocks for many transgender persons who only want to lead a reasonably comfortable life. Something as simple as going to the local grocery can become a running of the gauntlet of verbal harassment and possible physical abuse. And why? Because we look ‘different’? Because we don’t fit neatly into an uncomplicated gender binary?

Imagine yourself in this situation. I imagine some of you here today have faced this yourselves?

The family, seemingly, is an individual’s first and primary support system. Rejection and rebuke, condemnation, verbal abuse and perhaps even physical abuse from ones family can be emotionally devastating, especially to the young. These young transgender women, expelled from the home or forced to leave, end up on the street, homeless and hungry. Cold and hunger drive people to do things they would otherwise never do. Sex work soon becomes the only means by which they can survive.

It comes as no news to anyone here in this room, that the greater the number of different sex partners one has, the greater one’s chance of contracting HIV or an STI become. But what may surprise you is that this condition of family initiated homelessness is primarily a cultural phenomenon predominate in the African American and Latina segments of the transgender community. This homeless situation, in conjunction with the inability to find employment and shelter, and relying on sex work for survival are some of the direct correlates to our findings that show us that 48.1% of African American and 49.6% of Latina transgender women in our study tested positive for HIV at baseline.

Forty-eight and forty-nine percent! Essentially, every other transgender woman of color that walked in my door was HIV positive at baseline.

So we, as service providers, must ask ourselves, what message aren’t we getting across to these women? Are they really listening to us, and if not, why not? These questions certainly do need to be asked, and the answers found, right now. Are we just talking about condoms, or do we ask about life choices? Or partner choices? Have we asked any of our young gay and transgender clients where they see themselves in 5 and 10 years? If you haven’t you should, because I can promise you not too many of them have thought about it.

And then, shouldn’t we also be asking what message is it that the PARENTS AND FAMILIES AREN’T GETTING? And how do we address this serious and dangerous problem? What do we do about these parents? The ones out there right now who will, in the coming months and years, be casting off their own children for no other reason than these kids are different; they didn’t meet their parent’s expectations. How do we teach them about our diversity? How do we change these long standing perceptions? These questions and issues also need to be, and must be, addressed - and obviously the sooner the better. But short of rounding up these parents and heading them off to re-education camps, where do we begin? In the churches? The PTA’s? The Rotary or Lions Clubs?

Maybe, just maybe, it’s up to each of us, individually and collectively, to get this education process started. Every day. Every night. On the streets and in the home.

Right now in this country, we hear of some school districts who have taken the lead in teaching sexual orientation and gender diversity education, and I know we all pray that this will lead to positive change in the coming years, but SOME schools are not enough! We need ALL schools, everywhere, to get on board. This is a great start for kids still in school, but what of our gay and transgender kids who have left or quit school? Are we asking them, or even pushing them, to get that GED so they might be able to get a job, or are we just handing them condoms and telling them to be safe? That is simply not enough.

Mental health. Depression. As you know, major depression very often leads to high risk behaviors. In the recently completed New York City Transgender Project, we saw that 78.1% reported psychological abuse and 50.1% reported physical abuse at some point in their lives. The perpetrators of both types of abuse were most often parents or other family members during adolescence, and strangers, neighbors or police during post-adolescence.

The rate of lifetime major depression in this study of male to female transgender persons was 54.3%. That is almost three times higher than the corresponding estimate for the general population.

Suicide ideation for this same group was at 53.3%, again three times higher than the general population.

Actual suicide plans and attempts, 35.0% in the younger group, and 27.9% in the older, are seven and 10 times higher than the NCS estimates. SEVEN to TEN times!

Serious depression, joblessness, homelessness, lack of acceptance, verbal and physical abuse. Marginalized, trivialized and sensationalized. Is it any wonder why this community is at high risk?

Many state and local governments have been passing laws that provide gender identity protections, and that is wonderful news, but laws by themselves are not the answer. Laws alone do not change public perceptions or attitudes. Changing the currently popular but sadly misinformed and shallow perceptions of transgender is what will bring about the most positive change. In the end, that will be up to us, the greater transgender community, to bring about this desperately needed change But I feel comfortable in saying that I speak for most transgender persons when I say, “We need and want your help”

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said 3 months ago Report Abuse · Permalink · 1 Comments

Generativity Within The Transgender Community

( I've blogged this elsewhere, thought I might as well put it here)

“GENERATIVITY WITHIN THE TRANSGENDER COMMUNITY”

Mona Rae Mason

Keynote Address

May 1, 2009

Transgender 2009-Liberty

Philadelphia , PA



Good afternoon everyone, and welcome to Transgender 2009- Liberty .

My name is Mona Rae Mason. Some of you here know me through my work with The Transgender Project. Others may have heard of my sometimes scandalous NYC party girl reputation. The Transgender Project may be over, but I think I have a few parties left in me.

There are some of you here today who I know that stepped up and participated in the baseline interview process for the TGP, and a few of you here who were randomly selected for the follow up interviews, which involved the sometimes arduous task of having to talk to me, face to face, every six months over 3 years.

For those who may not be aware of TGP, it was a 5 year, longitudinal study of the male to female transgender population of the greater NYC area, funded by the National Institutes of Health. A few of the topics we examined were mental health, verbal and physical abuse, hormone use, HIV/STI prevalence, job discrimination, family relationships, gender identity, sexual identity, and substance use among other topics. We also took a closer look at the concept of autogynephilia. Recently, some of the data collected from the baseline interviews was applied to the re-writing of the training manual for the NYPD Police Academy, and I was very proud to have been asked to participate in that process. We also have written and submitted, for journal publication, several papers relating to the data and have several more to write.

During the course of this study, we interviewed almost 600 male to female transgender women from all walks of life, and it was my great privilege to meet so many sisters that I am very certain I would never have met in a million years otherwise.

I suggest ‘never have met’ because we, as human beings, tend to stay in our social ‘comfort zones’. It’s basic human nature to do so—you socialize with people much like yourself, of your own age and background, in rather tightly circumscribed social settings, and we tend not to leave these social comfort zones—at least not very often. I was most fortunate to have been allowed to cross over many of these social boundaries, meet with various subgroups of transgender women from different economic, cultural, generational and ethnic backgrounds, and I was welcomed in all. I have laughed with some of you, and cried with others. I stand in awe of our great diversity, and I say again, what a truly great privilege the past few years have been for me.

Diversity? I have met and gotten to know some transgender women who have PhD’s, and Masters degrees; and some with very little or almost no formal education at all. I have interviewed transgender women who are plumbers, professors, a NYPD detective, construction workers, accountants, musicians, lawyers, a major university president, a published author, a law professor, a West Point Cadet, and even one who is a monk. I have met sisters who have transitioned successfully at home and in the workplace, and some who have lost everything-- family, friends, and income as a result of their transition.

And I have also met with sisters who have never had a job, and engage in survival sex as their only option.

I have discussed and shared experiences with transgender women who have found support and acceptance from family, and others who have been both verbally and physically abused, and in some cases, sexually abused—usually followed by being expelled from the home altogether.

For a very few of us, being transgender has not been too calamitous an issue. But for many of us however, it’s a constant ‘life negotiation’, and sadly for others, being transgender makes life an ever-constant struggle for their very existence.

One of sentiments so many of these women confided to me that really stands out in my mind, was the expressing the desire to ‘give something back’ to the community. Many told me they were taking part in the interviews in the hopes that it would somehow help other transwomen. Early on in the TGP, I interviewed a woman whose life as a transgender person has been a total hell, and yet she told me she wants to give something back. A person who has not had known one minutes pleasure or enjoyment of being a transgender woman, and yet she wants to give something back, something to help those coming in the next generation of transgender women.

Helping others.

Giving something back.

Helping someone else avoid some of the pain and pitfalls of this life.

Sharing your experiences with those younger than yourself.

Generativity.

Generativity as defined by psychologist Erik Erikson is “primarily the interest in establishing and guiding the next generation”.

As the Transgender Project was coming to a close, we thought we’d like to give the participants a chance to ‘sound off a bit’, in their own words. Dr. Nuttbrock, the PI for the Transgender Project and I devised a few simple questions, with a ‘if I had to do it all over again’ theme, and selected participants, quite randomly, and asked them to take a few minutes to respond. The women were told they could say as much or as little as they liked. They could answer the questions ‘on the spot’ and we would record their comments, or they could write out their responses and thoughts. We even suggested that they could take the questions home and mail them back when they were finished. Some very informal, qualitative data, to be sure.

I think that it should be easy to understand, and I believe most professionals agree, that analyzing narrative responses in not exactly a fast and firm science and can be rather subjective. However, we had many very similar responses that really stood out and would be difficult to ignore.

The first question was actually in two parts:

  1. “Let us assume, for now, that being transgender is a choice we make. If this is or were the case, and you could live your life over again, would you live your life as a transgendered person? Why or why not?”

My personal favorite response to the first part, which appears to be a predominant theme is: “Who in their right mind would choose to do (or be) something that makes them an outcast from the mainstream of society?”

Other responses were similar, and included the recurring terms such as physical abuse, having to hear the verbal abuse, harassment, living in fear, guilt, shame, separation from family, etc..

The majority of responses however, indicated directly that YES, they would indeed live their over again as a transgendered person, despite the many negative experiences in their lifetime.

What I found very interesting from a generational stand point is that when I divided the respondents into two groups, those 40+ years of age and those 39 and under, 78 % of the older group said yes, while only 59 % of the younger group said they would live their lives again as a transgender person if being transgender was a choice.

Of course the second part was, “Now let us assume that being transgendered is not a choice. If you could live your life over again, what things, if any, might you change or do differently”

The overwhelming responses to the second part—what would you do differently?--

Come out earlier—when I was younger

Start transition earlier-- when I was younger

Begin hormones earlier-- when I was younger

But the one question we asked where I felt the responses were most interesting was:

“The Next Generation—is there anything you might offer as advice to transpeople younger than yourself?”

23% stressed the importance of getting an education and getting a good job

45% specifically stated “be true to yourself”

And a full 70% urged getting support and sound advice.

SUPPORT and ADVICE

GIVING SOMETHING BACK

Generativity – “establishing and guiding the next generation”

Generativity---it’s in you, at least 70% of you anyway. You WANT to help others like yourself. You WANT to share your experiences with the next generation.

Various surveys by numerous agencies in most large cities suggest that 40% and more of all homeless youth identify as Transgender, Gay or Lesbian. One in NYC suggests as many as 60%. And that equates to over 10, 000 LGBT kids out there, just in NYC, who have either been thrown out of their homes by their own parents, or the family situation was so bad they were forced to leave. Drawn to the narcotic glow of the neon lights, they head to a big city to ‘live the dream’ of just being able to be who they really are, and to find others like themselves—social comfort zones. They arrive with little more than the clothes on their back and way too few dollars in their pockets. They seek out peers, people like themselves, but the problem here is that this new social circle is all kids in the same situation.

Imagine you are 15, 16 or 17. No money, no family, big city, its’ cold, and you are hungry and no place to go. Hunger and cold drives people to do things they would normally never do. Prostitution very quickly becomes the means by which these young people survive. I guarantee you that no one wakes up one day and says 'When I grow up, I want to be a prostitute"And when the epiphany strikes and the realization of having to have sex with some fat ugly bastard in order to eat hits home, any self esteem that may be left goes right out the window and depression---serious depression sets in. And of course, when you are down you want to get high---here come the drugs. It's a horrible, vicious cycle that is played out again and again.

Living the dream?

Do you think these kids could use someone to talk to---maybe someone to just listen?

Or how about the young transperson in the suburbs or a rural area? Sitting very much alone and trying to figure out who she is? No one to talk to about how she sees herself, no one to listen. Where does she go? Who would understand? What can she do and how can she possibly think well of herself while hiding this secret she keeps deep inside? Confused and lonely, most likely feeling only shame and guilt.

Think she might appreciate a friend? A little advice? Maybe just the tiniest bit of affirmation? Didn’t YOU wish there was someone YOU could have talked to?

So, what can you do? What can you do to give something back? How do you to share your life’s experiences? Start a blog?

No. What I think needs to be done requires actually getting up from your desk or table, away from your computer and getting involved! In person, face to face. EXPAND YOUR SOCIAL CIRCLE ! It’s not always easy, in fact it’s tough. But we are transgender and we are tough. Look what YOU have gone through already in your lives. Being transgender is not for sissies. We have been there and we have learned and now it is time to help and teach and share with those younger than us, if for no other reason that it is quite simply the right thing to do.

Something as simple as helping a kid write that first resume, or advising her what to wear to that first job interview. Or maybe explaining why getting that GED is so important. We have teachers among us—why not TEACH a GED class? In most states all you need is a bachelors’ degree. Or tutor! Or talk to a kid about her substance abuse problem. Explain the risks, in detail, of unprotected sex. Talk about how you came out. It means SO MUCH more coming from you than a social worker. Be a peer—be a mentor—or just be a friend. Step up. Let that young person know that someone does indeed care.

Today in every major city and many smaller ones, there is something akin to a LGBT Center . Maybe it’s the local library or church. Maybe there are meetings or get-togethers once a week or once a month. ATTEND! If there isn’t one, START ONE!

Unitarian Churches and MCC churches are usually a good place to find free or inexpensive meeting space.

This is the next generation of transgender we are talking about. These are OUR kids—yours and mine. They have no one to look to except us.

I think we all realize that in the general population, awareness of transgender has never been greater than it is right now, yet how we are still perceived and what people think they know about us is far removed from the reality.

What are we going to leave as our legacy?

Right now, THIS is our time. Let’s use it wisely.

“to leave the world a bit better..........to know even one life breathed easier because you lived. This is to have succeeded.” Emerson

said 5 months ago Report Abuse · Permalink · 1 Comments